Be Aware

                While writing this reflection, my mind is preoccupied of thoughts about death. It is because today is the 2^nd death anniversary of my aunt who died at the age of 51. The cause of her sudden death was a dreadful sickness, leukaemia (cancer of the blood). I am reminded again of those times when she was struggling to survive but unfortunately, her body didn’t have the strength of her spirit and eventually surrendered to death. That experience is very unforgettable to me for it was my first time that I personally witnessed with my own eyes someone, whom I loved, was dying. Hence, I am still grieving up to this time. Her death is really difficult for us to accept wholeheartedly for we dearly loved her and she’s so kind, generous, loving, caring and thoughtful person I ever knew. Certainly, it’s hard to explain the feeling of losing someone whom you valued so much being one the important persons in your life. Perhaps, like what the Blessed Virgin Mary felt when her Son was crucified and died on the cross, I, too, had experienced that kind of sorrow. It is really painful and it seems that the mark of that memory is indelible in my heart.

                Because of that poignant incident, I consequently become aware of those possibilities that will happen in me in days to come. Ever since the moment when I started to comprehend, I already learned the absolute certainty that we were born and we are going to die. No one is immortal among us, that’s for sure! But unlike before, this time I find myself so serious in entertaining this kind of idea. So strange to me! Every time I remember the death of my loved ones, I feel uneasy, afraid and worried. It somehow bothers me. Thus, I always ask myself, “Am I scared to die?” “Am I prepared if God will decide to take my life tomorrow?” Probably, I have that fear of death. Nonetheless, I believe that youth have that normal reaction when it comes to death for they have many things to carry out in this corporeal world. In other words, we are not yet ready to leave our loved ones.

                Furthermore, I realize that life for us means the same thing as time. It elapses. Although, the duration of time in the physical world is continuous, (as what I have learned in our cosmology subject) our time as human being has limitation. It just like saying “we are running out of time” as our common expression when we hurriedly accomplished something like meeting the deadline of the passing of the term papers. So, if death is an inescapable reality, what should we do with our life to make it meaningful? What should we do with our time? Are we going to exhaust it by simply “eating and drinking, merrying and giving in marriage,” working and surviving? No it’s not. For if you will do this, you will possibly lose sight of the limits of life and it is to lose the picture! Instead, let us live in a fully human way. We need to be aware of this. It is all we have time for!

                In fact the Gospel of Matthew (24: 37-44) tells us something we could not know except by faith, unless god told us: “the real focus of time is on Jesus Christ coming in glory.” To reiterate it, the purpose of human life is to prepare and to be prepared for the coming of Jesus Christ. “As Christians, we have been given to know with more than human knowledge that our goal is something more than human existence.” The Church teaches us that the goal of human life is to grow into the fullness of Christ as members of His body. Indeed, I undeniably believe on it with all my faith. Yes, we need to remain aware, then, that we are here to spend our time on something more than human life.

                For me, since God is the author of life, therefore it is worthwhile to spend it for His glory. I am completely aware of the purpose of my life and where it is heading. All I have to do is to fulfil my destiny and let Christ fulfil His destiny of uniting and reconstituting all things in Him, that is coming to fulfilment in us. From now, I don’t have to worry about death because I am aware that God does not abandon His people. This awareness truly deepens my faith and encourages me to be firm in my chosen vocation of serving the Lord and my needy brothers and sisters with all my life and soul. I know that this mission is not that easy for it entails sacrifices and sufferings. But what I fervently pray to God is His grace of strength and wisdom to fulfil His will in me. 

                Hopefully, before this year ends, I could say to myself, without any fear and doubts, that I’m ready to die and see the Lord face to face! That is one of the things I am looking forward to. May God help me to become righteous and conscientious person worthy of His great mercy