Have you
ever experienced being pissed off and got angry for some reasons (whether nonsense or reasonable)?
Obviously yes! Perhaps no one, I think, is exempted from experiencing this kind
of emotion. Since, whether you like it or not, as a human being with heart, you
can feel it. Just like me, there was a time that I got so insulted outright
with what I heard from a so-called friend. It made my blood boil and I was
fuming mad. I felt so pissed off that I wanted ripping him apart. I got all
red-faced. I burst out verbally in defense of my dignity but somebody reminded
me to calm down and cautioned me not to angry.
Being
fortunate enough, we have scheduled psycho-spiritual sessions with a very good,
professional and approachable psychologist, Ms. Ellen. It is done once or twice
a month. In one of our meetings, we dealt with emotions. Basically, it was a
worthwhile experience for us to learn how to control one’s emotions. To control
here means not hiding or repressing your feeling, especially anger, but
expressing them in a proper and prudent ways.
As I
checked out the Bible, there are many verses which deal with anger. Let’s take
for example in Ephesians 4:26-27 it says, “Be angry but do not sin; do not let
your anger last until the end of the day, lest you give the devil a foothold.”
This verse clearly acknowledges anger and accepts the human experience and its
reality. However, this is often misconstrued as it is taken literally. It can
be perceived as a warning for those turning anger into hatred. In the New
Testament, we know that even Jesus did get real angry when he drove the
moneychangers and merchants out of the Jewish temple grounds. But take note, he
had the right reason to do so.
Possibly,
some of us have been taught that it is wrong to get angry with somebody. Others
have advised us that it is immoral and sinful to be angry. These lessons in
early life were intended to make us better individuals when we grow up. In
reality, anger is a natural and spontaneous human emotion that is part of our
humanity. Even animals exhibit this kind of emotion as they manifest it through
their behaviour. I remember in our province, we raised chickens in our
backyards. As a child, I found it enjoyable to chase chicks until their hens
become aggressive and attack me when already provoked. Hence, I was always
reprimanded by my mother.
Human
beings also resort to this kind of behaviour when they can no longer rein in
their anger and fail to calm themselves down. We cannot avoid anger as it will
naturally occur when you or the situation allows it to. According to noted
psychologists, there are two possible outcomes for anger, negative or positive.
It is negative when it becomes destructive and vindictive, especially when it
turns into an explosive or blind rage. It is positive when it becomes a potent
instrument for change for the individual. It can also transform ugly realities
of life. This will boil down to the classic process of stemming the steam off
the anger. It is called anger management.
The goal
of anger management, as being clearly explained in our psycho-spiritual
session, is to express anger without hurting others, destroying or damaging
properties and hurting oneself. It only takes one to be reasonable and in
control. Expressing anger creatively and positively can help ease the tension
and calm the situation. As William Blake, a renowned British poet and artist during
the Romantic Age of English literature, beautifully puts it in his poem “A Poison Tree.”
I was angry with my friend, I told my wrath…
my
wrath did end. I was angry with my foe,
I told it not… my wrath did grow.
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