Forgive with love

Wise men agree that problems are part and parcel of human existence. Hence, one of the implications of this reality is that no one can escape the suffering caused by problems. Sometimes we develop a kind of psychosomatic problem due to harsh or unpleasant treatment we have received from our fellow human beings. It is actually disturbing when someone is trying to ruin your day. It is practically degrading when someone utters at your face some sarcastic words. Likewise, it is totally insulting when you hear derogatory words addressed to you. No one in his sanity, I believe, can afford someone to treat you like an animal. When you are caught up in any disparaging human situation, your feeling toward yourself is also affected. There is that bad feeling within you and it feels like your worth as a person is slowly diminishing. And to avoid this terrible feeling that one might experience, we have to do something and that is to check our relationship with our neighbors.

We all know that it is difficult to do something good to our brothers and sisters in our community especially if we don’t like them. We feel uncomfortable with their presence. We easily hate people if we sense that they hate us too. According to a particular priest, there are only two reasons why we dislike people. First, it is because you see him acting improperly or doing bad things which are supposed to be avoided. Second is that you hate this person because you see yourself in him.

My experience in the community where I belong falls in the first situation. I tend to dislike some of my brothers because I don’t like the way they act and if you will correct them, they will just brush you off. Some get angry when being fraternally corrected. Human as I am, I consequently become impatient to my brothers. I know hating someone is not good and precisely a worst feeling one may feel. Jesus Christ teaches us to love our enemies and yet it is very difficult to put it into practice. Every time I feel hatred towards my brothers, the greater impact is in me. I feel bad also about myself for being impatient, judgmental, and perhaps less understanding. Realizing the bad effects of hatred in me, I struggle to refrain from feeling it and just accept the fact that I cannot change them. So I just pray that they will grow up and be mature.

Our feeling toward our own self depends on how we behave in times of problems and challenges. It is true that having a good feeling on yourself pushes you to achieve your dreams in life and can make life more meaningful. Basically, there are simple ways that we can do on how to achieve and experience that good feeling in our everyday living. Firstly, you must be kind to all the people you meet every day. Secondly, you must avoid that attitude of “self-importance.” Listening to people’s stories and lamentations is an effective strategy of befriending them. Be with them. Respect their ideas and they, in return, will respect yours. Lastly, you must be careful on your words for sometimes we hurt others unconsciously by the words we utter on them. In other words, be sensitive.

We cannot deny the fact that the people around us have the direct or indirect influence on our feelings. In fact, if you have been surrounded with negative people, it might bring you down. We must be good and trust our self so that we can feel good always and so that we will be surrounded with optimistic people. Treat others the way you want them to treat you. Avoid troubles to attain inner peace. Trust your inherent worth as a person. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about life. The most important of all to have a good feeling on our self is we should release all our anger, resentment and hatred. You cannot feel fine about yourself if you are holding anger against your neighbors. Learn how to forgive with love. Remember always what have Jesus said in the Bible.

Lastly, a healthy relationship comes with accepting one another and recognizing our human weaknesses. As Siddhartha Gautama perfectly says that “holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who get burnt.”Padayun!