I BEG FOR LOVE!

(An article I wrote 2 years ago for school publication and my first attempt to write about the phenomenology of #walangforever)

Christian writers agree that life only becomes truly meaningful if we carry out in our everyday living the very purpose why we were given this precious gift called life. This ultimate purpose is to love. I believe that there is no greater feeling than to love and be loved. It makes us feel alive and appreciate the beauty of life. Sad to say, however, that in our contemporary world where there is so much betrayal, so much infidelity, so much selfishness, so much violence, so much broken relationships, so much broken hearts, people have become so self-protective. In this world that we live in, it is unusual to hear from someone professing the truth that our greatest need is to love and be loved. Instead, what we hear are sentiments telling us that you don’t need someone in your life to be happy, that you can be independent, strong and fulfilled in just loving yourself. Well, we all know that this is a lie born out of fears, pains, and distrust – reasons why we opt to build walls around our hearts. We don’t want to appear vulnerable. We don’t want to hope and give it a try. We don’t want to honestly admit that we all thirst for love and we want to be satisfied. Yes, we are so pathetic!

In the streets of Metro Manila, it is a common scenario to see beggars trying to knock the doors in our hearts hoping that we could spare some pennies or food for them. This everyday situation makes me think that if only love happened to be something tangible, something that can be seen and touched, and if only we could be more honest of our feelings, I wonder how many people would flock to the streets and beg for love.

But this, I think, is somewhat impossible for Filipinos. Unlike Western people who are more expressive and straightforward on their feelings like Ed Sheeran singing “Give me love,” we, Filipinos tend to be reserved, shy, perhaps afraid, and pretentious. Asking for love sounds lame for us. When we hear someone asking for love, we could easily judge that person as a loser and pathetic. And we don’t want to be a loser. We want to appear strong and triumphant. We don’t have the courage to shout it out that we, too, need to be loved the way we want to love. Hence, in order to understand this situation we need to listen on what is not being said.

I know that we are very much familiar of the sentiment or we could say a kind of protest expressed in few words that has become our common expression that has circulated in the social media particularly in facebook and is trending until now. “#walangforever” has captured the minds and hearts of the Filipino netizens. Only two words and thirteen letters but the message it conveys is very powerful. We laugh at it every time we encounter or utter this catchphrase but actually we are laughing at ourselves. This expression born out of painful experiences, failures and heartaches has been penetrating our lives in almost all its aspects. It is funny to think that this has become an instant justification. How many times that we used this expression as a reason to justify things in our lives? We tend to associate almost everything to this idea that there is no forever. When we run out of money, food, paper or whatever we are inclined to justify that it is because “walang forever.”

One time, I happened to read a post from a friend in facebook. It says there, “bad news: walang forever, good news: walang forever.” This facebook status really captured my attention and it made me realize that some most particularly the groups of the single, bitter, lonely and alone are celebrating for the birth of this seemingly brilliant realization which justifies their present situation or their choice to be alone. I heard some news that entrepreneurs took advantage of it by making some gimmicks in restaurants to increase business profit and boom, it was very effective! People love it. Or maybe they are just pretending that they love the idea.

As what I have mentioned a while ago that in contrast to Westerners, majority of us, Filipinos, are not that frank and honest when it comes to our feelings. We don’t want to be straight to the point. We used to tell something in indirect manner especially when it comes to love. Thus, we need to listen to what is not being said. We need to know those implied messages behind this famous #walangforever. And only in this way, we will come to understand what is in it really.

As far as my point of view is concerned, I think when someone says “walang forever,” I doubt that he or she means it. In spite of those tragic, painful or heart-breaking stories that we frequently hear or maybe you have experienced it, I believe that there is still enough reasons for us to believe that there is such thing as forever, that we are capable of love that will last forever, a love that transcends physical death and personal fears. We, Filipinos, are a people of hope and faith. We know these virtues. We have proven it many times that our faith and hope are enduring beyond tragedies or calamities. We don’t easily give up especially on matters concerning our loved ones. We are not that losers!

It is in this line of thinking that I believe #walangforever is just a bitter and better way for us to express our deepest desire to love and to be loved. Isn’t it beautiful when someone cares for you, treats you like a prince or princess, someone that will be there for you in good times and bad times or in short, someone who will truly love you? I think #walangforever is a kind of reverse psychology telling people implicitly that behind this seemingly negative phrase is my belief and hope that one day those fairy tales could be my reality. My dream of having this someone who will take care of me, embrace me tightly, love me without reservations and with all honesty and fidelity and to whom I will spend the rest of my life will sooner or later become my reality.

Yes, we can draw a lot of realizations from this #walangforever but one thing I am very sure of is that we don’t stop loving and hoping. I mean every time we wake up in the morning, consciously or unconsciously, we do things that belong to the realm of love and hope. If we were used, abused, victimized and pained before by people who don’t know what and how it is to love, I still believe that there is no amount of sadness and pain that could take away our capacity to love and to hope for because whether you believe it or not, we are created and born out of it and for it. Despite those heartaches, just continue loving and hoping. Because one day, I promise, love will find its way back to you.
😍😘🧘‍♂️